Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
