the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
