So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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