She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
