home. puking in laundry basket.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
