We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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