My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
