:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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