Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
