At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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