After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
