Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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