I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You pole danced in your parka.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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