i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
