How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Randomize
