If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize