She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
