I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
