THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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