How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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