he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize