I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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