guys are not supposed to queef...right?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I cut my penus on the lid.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
