I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize