Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
