On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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