In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
