Christians are straight up FREAKS
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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