We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
