just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize