she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
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she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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