My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
