You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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