Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat