between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.