I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright