do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
