Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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