The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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