Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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