Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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