Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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