trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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