David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
