Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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