I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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