this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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