Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
