I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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