Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
