i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize