We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
