You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I love you.
Bad choice
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