So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
