I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
