Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize