CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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