Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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