Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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